mech pilots are hot shit until the guy on the jeep starts loading HESH
Seeing the sort of technology people have available to go fishing (especially deep sea fishing) just kinda makes me feel like they want to be captain of a destroyer in the Battle of the Atlantic but without the stakes (just the fish steaks)
I mean just look at this shit.
Me, Rich Dipshit: It’s a great day for fishin’, boys!
My stepson Bradler: yeeeeeeeeeergh. yuuuuuuuurg. aaak
Me: Haha, you’ll get your sea legs yet, my boy. No shame in it.
My son Chadler: hey dad I think this thing found some fish
Me: CHAD I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON’T SAY IT RIGHT I’LL FEED YOU TO THE ORCAS
Chad: ugh. Conn, sonar, new contact, bearing uhhhhh iunno, designate sierra one.
Me: Close enough. *looks at the fish finder* “Helm, right full rudder, make your course 315.”
My stepdaughter Maylynnbreigneighheighleigh: “Okay!”
Me: Downrigger, make your dept One Zero Zero feet!
Bradler: huuuuuugh. uuuguuuuugaahh. *collapses to the deck*
Me: JESUS CHRIST BRAD DO YOU WANT THE KRAUTS TO WIN
Do you think that there were any ships that went out whaling out of New England and missed the entire american civil war
Like they went out in 1860 had a long voyage for the usual reasons and came back in late 1865 with very little idea of what had happened. like “oh boy I’ve finally finished getting my whale oil I can’t wait to see my favourite president Abraham Lincoln after having been out whaling since early 1860.” do you think that that was anyone
Something like this happened to famous Irish explorer Ernest Shackleton. He set out on an expedition in the arctic in 1914 just as the World War I had begun. The expedition was a disaster, he and his crew got lost and stranded. Somehow they survived though, and after much struggling and an incredible and impossible journey, they found help from a whaling station on South Georgia Island near the end of 1916. One of the first questions Shackleton asked from his saviors was something along the lines of “whatever happened with that war in Europe? How long did it last and who won?”. The reply he got back was “the war isn’t over. Millions are dead. Europe is mad. The world is mad”. It’s difficult to imagine the shock and terror that those few words must have generated.
one of my shift leads was like “aelyis i have something so funny to tell u” and when she got over to me she was like. we got a review that said “the barista was wearing a dog collar. don’t know how appropriate that is” and when i tell u i laughed so hard i CRUMPLED
manager came up and jokingly went “aelyis don’t wear dog collars” i think im gonna fwow up
the kicker is ive been wearing a spiked choker not even my Actual Honest To God Dog Collar
one of my other shift leads is saying we should all get collars and/or have a dedicated drivethru collar. beasties i am doggirlifying my fucking starbucks.
femboy hooters is out, doggirl starbucks is in
A truly beautiful piece of American history is that the guy who is most responsible for the M1 Carbine, and who is arguably the godfather of modern autoloading rifles due to inventing the short-stroke gas piston, began designing firearms while he was in prison for murdering a cop that rolled up on his moonshining operation in 1921
me: man i sure am hungry.. looks like all i have in the fridge is this 8.4oz sugar free redbull from 2016. guess i better suck this baby down! (gulp gulp) im sure nothing bad will happen (the sun and moon begin wheeling overhead until day and night mingle into a bright and starry expanse)
fossilized dimetrodon emerging from the silt regaining flesh: post about how hrt has made your cock into a useless little flintlock pistol. no one will think its weird
mighty stag speaking in my father’s voice: if you can’t guard against the other 3rd grade basketball team you are a faggot!
me: you guys aremy best friends (oblivious to the shimmering silhouette of chimpanzee berserker carrying blood katana approaching on the horizon
our friend’s daughter is at the age where she is extremely chatty and speaking in full sentences, and i love kids’ use of language.
apparently all strangers used to be “ladies,” but now they are “neighbors.” since they speak english exclusively at home, “neighbors” speak german; it was very distressing to hear her mom speak german once, because, in her words, “you’re not a doctor or a neighbor!”
When learning how to talk, each one of my 3 sons went through a phase where I was the only person they said “She” for. Obviously, SHE was Mom, and HE was the rest of the world
Three sons, and I was the only female in the household (dog was male too).
i love the idea of a mode of language where the human noun classification system is “one’s own mother” and “everyone else”
Can imagine a system with pronouns specific to one’s parents; would be a common line in grief about never saying [Mother] again